297+ Hilarious Nurse Jokes That Will Instantly Heal Your Bad Mood 💉😂

Best Nurse Jokes to Make You Feel Better

1. Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case she needed to draw blood.

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2. Nurses are IV league professionals.

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3. I told my nurse a joke — she said it needed a shot.

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4. Nurses can’t keep secrets… they always spill the tea and the IV.

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5. I became a nurse because I had the patients.

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6. That nurse is so cool — she’s ICU material.

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7. Nurses don’t sweat — they perspire professionally.

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8. A nurse’s favorite band? The Rolling Stethoscopes.

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9. Nurses know how to take a pulse… and a joke.

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10. Trust me, I’m a nurse — I’ve got patients.

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Nurse One-Liners That Deserve a Check-Up

1. Nurses: powered by coffee and compassion.

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2. I followed my heart — it led me to nursing.

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3. Nurses give the best shots in town.

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4. Calm down — the nurse is here.

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5. Nursing: where multitasking meets miracles.

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6. Scrubs are just superhero capes in disguise.

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7. Nurses chart the course to healing.

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8. Nursing school builds character — and dark circles.

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9. I can’t fix stupid, but I can sedate it.

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10. Nurses don’t panic — they assess.

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Funny Nurse Q&A Jokes That Prescribe Laughter

1. Why did the nurse carry a ladder? To reach new heights in care.

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2. Why do nurses love math? They’re great with patients.

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3. Why did the nurse go to art school? To master drawing blood.

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4. Why are nurses calm? They’ve got nerves of steel.

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5. Why did the nurse bring a pillow? For bedside manner.

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6. Why don’t nurses gossip? HIPAA said no-no.

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7. Why did the nurse cross the road? To check the other side’s vitals.

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8. Why do nurses love pens? They make great chart toppers.

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9. Why are nurses good comedians? Perfect timing!

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10. Why did the nurse smile? It was contagious.

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ICU Nurse Jokes That Are Critically Funny

1. ICU nurses take things seriously — but not themselves.

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2. I ICU laughing at this joke.

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3. ICU nurses don’t sleep — they monitor dreams.

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4. Keep calm and call the ICU nurse.

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5. ICU: where alarms are background music.

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6. ICU nurses handle pressure like pros.

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7. ICU humor is life-supporting.

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8. ICU nurses: we watch everything.

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9. I see you… said every ICU nurse.

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10. ICU nurses have critical wit.

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ER Nurse Jokes That Rush to the Punchline

1. ER nurses run on adrenaline and sarcasm.

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2. In the ER, fast is a lifestyle.

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3. ER nurses don’t wait — they STAT.

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4. I survived the ER — barely.

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5. ER humor is emergency-approved.

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6. ER nurses triage their jokes.

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7. In the ER, drama is the norm.

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8. ER nurses can handle shockingly funny moments.

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9. No appointment needed for ER laughs.

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10. ER nurses fix boo-boos and bad moods.

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Night Shift Nurse Jokes That Stay Up Late

1. Night shift nurses run on moonlight and caffeine.

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2. Sleep is optional — coffee is mandatory.

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3. Night shift: where 3 a.m. is prime time.

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4. Owls envy night nurses.

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5. Night nurses chart by starlight.

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6. Vampires respect night shift nurses.

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7. Night shift humor hits differently.

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8. Daylight? Never heard of her.

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9. Night nurses glow in the dark.

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10. Midnight snacks are therapy.

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Nursing Student Jokes That Study Hard

1. Nursing school: where sleep goes to die.

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2. Student nurses have “patients” in training.

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3. Clinicals: practice makes perfect.

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4. Nursing exams test your nerves.

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5. Study hard, care harder.

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6. Nursing school builds backbone.

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7. Coffee is a study partner.

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8. Flashcards are life support.

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9. Passing feels like discharge day.

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10. Nursing students ace under pressure.

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Pediatric Nurse Jokes That Are Kid-Approved

1. Pediatric nurses give teddy bear therapy.

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2. Stickers cure everything.

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3. Pediatric nurses handle little big personalities.

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4. Kids say the funniest diagnoses.

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5. Tiny patients, huge hearts.

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6. Pediatric nurses are part superhero.

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7. Lollipops are magic medicine.

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8. Pediatric wards are full of giggles.

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9. Boo-boos meet their match.

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10. Pediatric nurses speak fluent “kid.”

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Surgical Nurse Jokes That Cut to the Chase

1. Surgical nurses are sharp.

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2. We make precise cuts… and jokes.

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3. Surgery humor is sterile.

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4. Surgical nurses stitch things up — including punchlines.

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5. Scalpel? More like giggle-pel.

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6. In surgery, timing is everything.

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7. Surgical nurses scrub in with style.

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8. We close cases and conversations.

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9. Operation: Laugh Out Loud.

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10. Surgical nurses are incision-ally funny.

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Cardiac Nurse Jokes That Have Heart

1. Cardiac nurses steal hearts professionally.

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2. I’ve got a pulse on humor.

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3. Heart jokes? I’m pumped.

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4. Cardiac nurses love a good rhythm.

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5. Don’t skip a beat — laugh!

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6. Cardiac care is heartfelt.

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7. Nurses with heart never miss a beat.

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8. Love is in the air — and arteries.

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9. Cardiac nurses are beat-iful.

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10. We shock and awe.

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Oncology Nurse Jokes That Radiate Positivity

1. Oncology nurses glow with care.

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2. We bring light into tough days.

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3. Radiate kindness daily.

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4. Oncology humor is strong stuff.

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5. Chemo be positive!

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6. Strength grows here.

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7. Smiles are contagious.

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8. We fight with courage.

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9. Oncology nurses beam hope.

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10. Care is powerful medicine.

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Labor & Delivery Nurse Jokes That Deliver Laughs

1. We deliver more than babies — we deliver jokes.

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2. Labor nurses push for laughter.

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3. Born to care.

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4. We’ve seen it all — trust us.

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5. Delivery day is punchline day.

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6. Contractions? More like comedy reactions.

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7. L&D nurses are birth-day comedians.

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8. Crying babies, laughing nurses.

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9. We welcome tiny humans daily.

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10. It’s a-BOO baby!

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Travel Nurse Jokes That Go the Distance

1. Travel nurses chart new territories.

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2. Suitcase always packed.

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3. Nursing around the world.

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4. Travel nurses roam to heal.

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5. New hospital, same humor.

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6. Wanderlust with a stethoscope.

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7. Mileage may vary.

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8. Care without borders.

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9. Travel nurses take patients everywhere.

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10. Passport stamped with compassion.

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Nurse Coffee Jokes That Keep Things Brewing

1. Nurses measure coffee in liters.

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2. Caffeine is IV-ital.

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3. Coffee first, vitals later.

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4. Espresso yourself, nurse!

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5. Coffee is liquid patience.

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6. Brew-tiful mornings start here.

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7. Nurses love a latte care.

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8. Bean there, charted that.

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9. Perk up — it’s shift time.

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10. Coffee: the real lifesaver.

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Nurse Burnout Jokes That Need a Break

1. Burnout? Just charting exhaustion.

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2. Even superheroes need naps.

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3. PTO stands for Please Take Off.

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4. Rest is part of the prescription.

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5. Self-care isn’t selfish.

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6. Recharge your compassion battery.

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7. Break time is sacred.

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8. Nurses run on resilience.

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9. Laughter reduces stress levels.

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10. Heal yourself, healer.

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Romantic Nurse Puns for Your Favorite Caregiver

1. You stole my heart — no anesthesia needed.

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2. Are you a nurse? Because you took my pulse away.

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3. I’ve got patients for you.

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4. You’re my favorite caregiver.

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5. Our love is critical care.

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6. You make my heart monitor beep faster.

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7. You’re the cure to my blues.

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8. I’m stuck on you like an IV.

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9. You’re my daily dose of happiness.

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10. I’m falling for you — STAT.

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Nurse Birthday Jokes That Celebrate in Style

1. Hope your birthday is well-charted.

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2. Age is just a number — like your patient count.

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3. Another year older, still ICU-worthy.

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4. Keep calm and party on.

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5. May your cake be fully stocked.

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6. It’s your special shift!

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7. Prescribed: cake and laughter.

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8. Celebrate like it’s discharge day.

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9. You deserve a standing ovation.

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10. Happy Birthday — nurse style!

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Clean Nurse Jokes for All Ages

1. Nurses are heroes in scrubs.

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2. Care is their superpower.

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3. Nurses bring comfort daily.

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4. Laughter heals quickly.

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5. A smile is the best bedside manner.

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6. Nurses brighten hospital halls.

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7. Caring hands change lives.

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8. Compassion never goes out of style.

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9. Nurses make tough days easier.

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10. Every nurse deserves applause.

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Silly Nurse Jokes That Are Just What the Doctor Ordered

1. I told my nurse a joke — she said it was ill-arious.

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2. Nurses have IV humor.

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3. My nurse told me to take two laughs daily.

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4. Charting jokes is serious business.

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5. Nurses know how to bandage up bad days.

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6. The nurse said I needed a shot — I said of espresso?

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7. Nurse humor is sterile but hilarious.

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8. Scrub life chose me.

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9. That joke needs stitches!

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10. Nurses always have the last word — and the last chart.

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